I was born on December 25, 1946, fifteen months after the end of World War II. My parents already had three other children, all born before the war. From my very first memory, family was always number one for both of my parents.
My father had decided to try a different occupation, as working in the loud factory was more than he could handle after several years aboard a Navy destroyer. He decided to become a printer. Because of this, we moved five times by the time I was five years old.
However, in August of 1952, I hit the jackpot. We moved to the then rural area of Portage Township, Michigan, located in Southwest Michigan. My parents had purchased 5/8 of an acre of land and a sprawling old farmhouse in which they would raise their four children ( a fifth child was added to the family in 1954).
I spent my years getting a formal education from 1952-1965 at Portage Schools in Portage, Michigan. There, I was able to sharpen my reading skills; I had learned to read when I was four years old. I learned math, grammar, how to write a complete thought, history (both United States and world), psychology and sociology, played in the school orchestra and worked on the school newspaper. However, all the really important things about life I learned from my parents, my mother’s three older sisters and my grandmother.
My mother taught me how to do all the traditional things a girl growing up in the fifties and early sixties was supposed to know how to do. I learned how to cook, sew, do laundry, iron, clean and take care of a house. However, she taught me so much more. She taught me that the word can’t did not exist. She taught me that life can be full of disappointments. She also taught me to fight for what is right. She taught me to always reach for the stars and to never stop dreaming. She taught me that any task worth doing was worth doing well.
All of these lessons came in handy when I reached my teenage years. If I was struggling with an assignment and wanted to give up, she would tell me that can’t was not an option. If I didn’t try, even if I failed, how would I ever learn? When I did not make the National Honors Society, not due to my grades but more due to politics, she told me it wasn’t to be. She knew I was worthy and that was all that was important.
I learned another very important lesson during those teenage years. The rural area we had moved to was suddenly becoming overrun with new homes. The dirt road had been paved years before. Now, they wanted to rip up our yard and cut down old oak trees so they could install city water. Everyone in the area had the best well water you would find so many were not interested. The worse thing is, they were going to charge all the homeowners to pay for this, even if they did not hook up to the water. My mother became a champion for the cause to prevent this. She did research on the law (you have to remember there was no internet and she couldn’t just google to get the information she wanted). She spent countless hours in the library and had many sleepless nights thinking about this. Finally, it came to her: taxation without representation. Needless to say, the proposal died an instant death. I have never forgotten this lesson about fighting for what is right.
When I went to work in a hospital during the summer when I was nineteen, she said that whatever menial task they gave me I was to give it 100%. I did just that and felt pride in myself for doing so. Even to this day, I am a stickler for doing any job well and know that our four children picked up this same trait.
Growing up in the fifties and sixties, our television programs always portrayed woman as the lovely obedient housewife. I knew I wanted to get married some day and raise a family, but I also knew I wanted more. My mother encouraged me to go for my dreams. I wanted to be a teacher so applied to our local teacher education program at the university in town. She was very proud of me when I was accepted into the program. I did marry in April of 1969 but graduated with my teaching degree in December of 1969. I was the first and only one of their five children that obtained a college degree. The day I got hired for my first teaching position was a very special day for my mother and father.
The one thing I do regret, however, is that although I spent nineteen years in the classroom teaching both middle school and elementary age children, both my parents had passed away before I received my administrative degree. I took my mother’s advice and reached for the stars. I spent eleven years as an elementary school principal and four and a half years as a district superintendent. I didn’t let my age or gender deter me from my goals.
Besides my parents, I spent a lot of time with my mother’s three older sisters. I learned so much about life from the three of them. My Aunt Inez, my mother’s oldest sister, was not a healthy person but never let that interfere with her life. She found many things to do and to keep her busy. She taught me about always acting like a young lady. Through her, I learned to never let obstacles stand in my way. I learned the importance of always telling the truth. She taught me empathy for others and to have compassion for those less fortunate than I. From her, I learned the importance of one’s history and of family.
My Aunt Mable was a very special aunt to me. She and my mother had married brothers so when I was there it was like being home. Aunt Mable taught me, by example, that if the house isn’t perfectly clean and everything is not in its place, the world will not come to an end. She taught me the importance of taking time for me and that it was more important to spend time with your children than always worrying about having a spotless home. For her, a home that showed it was lived in was a happy home. She also taught me the importance of hard work and always making sure others were involved in whatever we were doing.
My Aunt Ethel was the sister closest to my mother’s age. She and her husband had no children and ran a very successful business. She had attended school and they were both accountants. My aunt, according to my siblings, spoiled me. However, she was one of my inspirations for getting my degree. She taught me that a woman did not have to become just a mother and housewife if she wanted more. She also taught me about fashion and that it was always important to look one’s best, no matter what the occasion. She taught me the importance of acting and speaking with confidence and of having good posture. However, she also taught me that it was okay to be silly once in a while as well. You did not need to take life too seriously all the time as long as you were responsible when needed. She taught me the importance of being able to laugh at myself.
Finally, I learned so much about life from my grandmother, the mother of my aunts. I do believe everything she stood for was why my aunts were like they were. My Grandmother Woodard taught me about doing things for myself and not always having to rely on others if they were not around. She taught me the importance of hard work and ingenuity. She taught me about the importance of helping others even if you may not think it important. Helping others in need often helped improve their own self-worth. My grandmother had all the modern conveniences that her children insisted she have. However, she still preferred to cook on her old cast iron wood burning stove. She taught me how to build a fire in that stove, a skill that would come in handy many years later for a job I had.
Would I trade all the things they taught me or the wonderful memories we made? I think not. They taught me that, yes, you can achieve just about anything you are willing to set your sights on. They taught me about helping my fellow man, no matter what. They taught me about fighting for what I see as right.
They taught me empathy for others and that all people are important. They taught me to always have respect for another person’s religion, views and station in life. They taught me the color of a person’s skin is not important. It is what is in their heart that is important. They taught me about manners and the magic words of please and thank you.
However, I think the most important thing they all taught me is having faith in a higher being. Life was, at times, hard for all of them but they never gave up and never lost their faith. By keeping grounded and always believing, I knew that “yes, I can” do it.
These five strong women taught me that I could be anything I wanted if I worked hard enough. In my 37 years in education, one of the areas I focused on was helping others see their self-worth. It might be one of my students, a teacher working under me or a parent. It didn’t matter. As a mother of four and a grandmother of five, I have always tried to be a positive role model and teach them the things these five women taught me. Yes, you can, but you must first try. Do not be afraid to be a role model for those around you. Take the time to empower others.
As always, “Don’t Save Today for Tomorrow,”
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This was such an enjoyable post to read as I am currently caring for my grandparents. Although their short-term memory is fading, they are never short on stories about their childhoods in the 20s and 30s, or about raising my mom and her 7 siblings. I have turned into a bit of a “keeper of the stories,” grabbing my notebook each time they begin talking. There is so much we can learn from the older generations!
What a sweet and honoring legacy. Thank you for sharing.
You’re amazing Chris. Thank you for sharing your wonderful role models. You have made a difference in so many lives. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to know you.
Thank you very much.